The Weird Sweater: So Ugly It's Beautiful

Surely every human being on this planet is familiar with the odd sweater; it's a staple of holiday disappointment. Everybody is familiar with the humorous cliche of the strange aunt gifting disgusting sweaters to everyone; you must pretend you love it and you are asked, nay, commanded, by your mother to wear it next time that odd woman who you call your aunt visits (disclaimer: I love all of my aunts very, very much). I'd mentioned in a previous post that I may or may not have a penchant for weird sweaters. Perhaps it's just because I am, as my sister calls me, a giant hipster, but something appeals to me about a tastefully distasteful sweater. Wearing such a thing out of your house and out of the presence of your strange aunt says something about you. What it says is difficult to capture in mere words, but perhaps is best embodied by being described as the incarnation of a middle finger in sweater form. A bold sweater tells the world that, quite frankly, you don't give a damn.

fig. 1

Look at this dapper man here. At first glance, this photo doesn't seem like much: a neutral-colored patterned sweater with a pretty standard neckline and nicely matched, quiet colors paired with some, ah, interestingly cut pants. Yeah, it's not that great of an outfit. With further analysis, though, the value of this photo is crystal clear.

Take a gander at his face. In the eloquent words of Spiderman, "Oh no, all the (expletive deleted)s I give are flying away." This is the attitude captured by the gentleman who wears a sweater like this. This image captures the essence of why the ugly sweater as a fashion piece is a beautiful thing.

fig. 2

Of course, not every bold sweater is quite so fantastic. On your right is a fantastic example of how one should never, ever wear a bold sweater. Maybe my severe bias against imagery of polo in male fashion has something to do with my utter detest of this fit. I would like to point out that the polo player on this sweater appears to be riding a reindeer for some reason. However, I digress. Aside from the reindeer and all the polo, I dislike this image because this outfit tries to be something that it's not: namely, a weird sweater outfit. The sweater should be the focus of the outfit; though the reindeer and the polo player certainly stand out, the sweater itself does not at all. A weird sweater should not blend in with the rest of your outfit; after all, it is a statement. Wearing a black sweater with solely black is not a good idea.

fig. 3

So, how does one correctly wear a weird sweater? See fig. 3. Though I'm not a huge fan of patterned pants, and the pants and sweater aren't exactly complementary, this image exudes both the previously described lack of damns being given and coolness. The colors in the sweater blend beautifully with pants, his glasses, and, importantly, his skin. The outfit is well-put-together, and manages to make a statement while, at the same time, being subtle enough that passerby won't have to suppress a guffaw in passing. Perhaps most important is the attitude that this outfit creates, an attitude that we all desire to create with our clothes: "I don't care what you think, I'm cool as hell." However, while this outfit is excellent, it would not be unreasonable for one to state that it does not fit the archetype of the weird sweater outfit; it's a bit too subtle.

fig. 4

Perhaps, then, this is a more fitting weird sweater outfit. This outfit does something that many other bold sweater fits fail to do: It creates a harmony between the sweater and the rest of the fit while, at the same time, preserving the uniqueness and middle-finger attitude that every strange holiday sweater should have. The other details of the fit add to the aura of this near-perfect sweater outfit: the red pants serve to tell the observer that this gentleman has chutzpah and this is the very, very rare occasion (outside, obviously, of a tuexedo) that a bowtie is not detrimental to the outfit. The sweater itself is beautiful, too; unlike fig. 2, the reindeer here are not disgustingly overdone, and the patterns on this sweater are graciously adding to the feeling of silliness while not overstating themselves. 

Wearing a holiday sweater well can be a tricky business; however, when this art is mastered, it can make for some amazing fits and tell the world a lot about you. So, gents, just remember this: tastefully distasteful is the name of the game. You don't want to be overstated, but you don't want to be understated. You don't want your sweater to blend in with the rest of your fit as if it weren't there, but you don't want it to stick out like a sore thumb. Working a weird sweater into a fit is a delicate balance; tip it one way too far and you look disgusting, tip it the other way, and you look bland. Balance the scale just right, however, and what you'll have will be a fantastically odd, artsy, unique look that you will be remembered for.

The Shortcomings of the Linguistic Education System

The right to education is unquestionably a fundamental, inalienable right within the context of modern Western society. Humankind as a whole strives to create educated, knowledgeable individuals capable of fulfilling jobs and duties in society, and this desire results in institutions being created that serve to educate the masses, institutions that spend billions upon billions of dollars in an effort to further the advancement of our educational system and of the knowledge of society as a whole. Education stimulates our economy, helps us understand our own being, and furthers the cutting edge of science and knowledge. Every day we further our knowledge even more; each day the apex of the knowledge we have amassed as a race through history is pushed further and further. Now, this seems all fine and dandy, and, indeed, these institutions do serve a great purpose. Without these institutions, we would still be stuck in the Stone Age. Yet, our education system as it stands today has an unsettling number of fatal flaws. Perhaps the strongest example of our failings in the educational system is our system of linguistic education.

The study of language is not done justice within the standard modern Western middle and high school English curriculum. What the average American or European youth is taught barely scratches the surface of the fascinating world that is language, and of the measly amount of language covered in a standard high school education, never are we shown the depth or the beauty of the study of language. We learn simple rules like subject-verb agreement, which homophones we should use in their respective contexts, and the basic gist of how to use a semicolon; this is what we, strictly speaking, need to know in order to make our writing as adults not sound like it was written by the kind of blundering idiot that would confuse their and there. Understandably (and predictably), the aforementioned topics of grammar explored in standard elementary, middle, and high school curricula bore children and teenagers, and rightfully so; the manner in which they are presented and the depth to which they are explored is thoroughly, painfully shallow and uninteresting. Moreover, learning rules and guides to one’s native language seems pointless and a waste of time to the youth of today (though it really isn’t.) The lack of depth of grammatical and linguistic study and the presentation of the measly smattering of what we are taught is the sad origin of the disinterest and loathing of English grammar and linguistics that we find in today’s native-English speaking middle-high school youth.

Ask the average high-school or lower educated individual who Robert Lowth is, and perhaps one out of a hundred will be able to answer you. Robert Lowth was an important figure in the development of modern English grammar, and yet the youth of today know nothing of him, a man who created one of the most infamously annoying, illogical rules of modern English: He proposed in his 1762 publication, A Short Introduction to English Grammar, that a sentence should not end in a preposition, referencing and applying his study of Latin grammatical structure. I'm sure that many people have heard this rule time and time again; it is, after all, one of the most common grammatical errors that an English class will attempt to address. Thus, we hear it very often. It's drilled into us over and over that we may not end a sentence with a preposition.

This is a prime example of why the modern English education system fails us: Never once are we taught the reasoning for this rule, or its origin, only that we must follow it. Wander into any English classroom where this rule is being taught, and it would be a rare coincidence to find a student questioning the origin of aforementioned rule, for in the study of language, we are taught not to be curious, but to sit down, shut up, and blindly obey the rules put in front of us. Of the perhaps one out of thirty students who dare question a rule that we have been told is an unmoving, set-in-stone law of English grammatical structure, I guarantee that an even significantly smaller number will be given an answer that isn't, “Because that's just the way it is.” No English teacher dares to give any history of grammar, nor do they dare to involve any sort of depth in their study. Perhaps this seems illogical; after all, wouldn't someone who becomes an English teacher have a vast, passionate knowledge of the linguistic melting pot known as English?

The simple fact is that our system of education does not allow this. In our system, teachers are tightly bound to a curriculum; they must meet certain quotas every year, they must teach us watered-down studies of classical literature. Today's English teacher is so tightly bound to the rigid structure of the bureaucratic construct of curriculum that they have no freedom to diverge and, say, discuss how Lowth was criticized for stating that formal English structure should follow the rules of Latin or discuss the irony of him denouncing the use of prepositions at the end of a sentence by opening with, “This is an Idiom which our language is strongly inclined to.” We are so tightly bound by what the principles and expectations of what we now call “education” that teachers can no longer truly educate, can no longer pique the intrinsic curiosity for learning within every human being on this planet. This is, truthfully, the worst failure of the education system (and this transcends just English education): that we, as students, are taught not to love and take joy in learning, but rather to view it as dreadful, needless work that must be done. The rigidity of the structure of curriculum and the approach to education as a necessary burden that must be completed ruins the very purpose of learning and turns what should be a jovial, enthusiastic pursuit to further our knowledge both as individuals and as mankind as a whole into an evil beast of burden that causes us anxiety and stress and amounts to working at a lifeless, hateful job and gigantic, insurmountable student debt.

It's distressing how simple it is: our educational system is fatally flawed. It encourages a hate of learning, discourages depth of discussion, and deters students from otherwise fascinating subjects. Every student has somewhere within them a curiosity for learning, and rather than encourage this curiosity and enable further studies, our educational system pushes that curiosity further and further down and force-feeds us skin-deep knowledge, then forces us to regurgitate it a few times every semester for upwards of 16 years. We must turn this around, and we must turn it around quickly; our world will be in the hands of those whose knowledge and humanity we are spoiling very, very soon. Knowledge is the most important defining factor of humanity, and without excellent education, we have neither knowledge nor true humanity.

A short winter inspiration album.

Maybe it's a bit late for this, but here are a few pictures I gathered for inspiration for the '12 F/W season.

What captivates me in this picture is how well this man breaks
 the "No whiteafter Labor Day" rule. Fashion anarchism much?

Though the fit on the pants isn't ideal and the shoes are dismal at best, the simplicity of this fit
really appeals to the fashion minimalist within me.

Not particularly a big fan of the belt or shirt, but this is a fantastic example of both pulling off rule-breaking (like in fit #1) and the Pointer Chore Coat.

Certainly a unique scarf knot. Really like the jacket in this picture and, of course, the beard.

The thing sin this picture that stand out the most are his hair and that shawl-neck cardigan. Excellent use of monochromatic techniques; fit on pants could be skinnier, and cardigan's material seems a bit odd.

I've always had a thing for weird sweaters.

I LOVE this picture. Beautiful example of how everyone should wear
CDBs, not to mention a fantastic pairing with the watch. Again, the
simplicity of this fit is damn beautiful. Well-done hair, too.

I really like the lumberjack-y mood in this picture, the wash of the jeans, and the color of the leather
on those boots.

Preppy F/W. Pants aren't quite to my taste, but those shoes are beautiful, and the fact that, for some reason, he's holding a goddamn sword is awesome.